Taking care of a family has its challenges,
but the right support can ease the pressure.

The psychological impact

We know through extensive research, that for better and for worse, family relationships play a central role in shaping our wellbeing throughout our lives. The relationships within a family are an important source of social connection and social influence and can help create a greater sense of meaning and purpose.

So, when the family dynamic is strained, naturally there are negative impacts. Stress within the relationships can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, affect immunity and even increase the risks of physiological impairment. [1]

On of the most important relationships that affects wellbeing is a long-term, romantic partnership. The effect on couples with a good relationship is linked to better health, with some studies concluding that healthier people are more likely to be ‘married’ (in a de facto relationship).[2] Though, of course the impact changes depending on the quality of the relationship, as those in distressed partnerships are more likely to report poorer health and depressive symptoms.[3]

Other important relationships, between siblings, children (including adult children), parents, and grandparents all have a significant impact on our wellbeing too — though the impact changes throughout life, often becoming more complex. Factors like caregiving, relationship breakdowns, time pressures and financial stress affect how well we cope at different points in life — with greater rewards for those with strong emotional support. [4]

But no matter what your family unit looks like; small or large, traditional or unconventional, the effort you put in to resolve issues and support each other, will be beneficial to you all.

The ‘perfect family’ doesn’t exist

Remember, no matter what you see on social media or on television, there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ family. The realities of life, like the unexpected curveballs and the nature of people changing and growing, inevitably lead to new challenges and issues to deal with. For every single family.

When you’re in the thick of it, especially if you’re caring for others, the frenetic schedule can feel like it’s taking you over. So, it’s important to take the time to reassess, look at what you can change and learn how to manage the things you can’t.

Appreciate the good times (they’re good for you)

As stressful as it can be sometimes, raising a family can also be extremely rewarding. Quality time with your children or extended family is not only enjoyable, but also excellent for your brain — reducing stress and boosting cognitive health by releasing chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. It improves your mental health by reducing anxiety, helps lower dementia risk, and maintains brain networks. Things like family meals, games, and nature walks enhance memory, emotional intelligence, and resilience. [7]

Even when things aren’t exactly going to plan, you can still find moments of joy. And it’s important to cherish those moments and focus on the positive aspects of belonging to a family.

Dealing with family stress

We know there are numerous external stressors families contend with, and that most of them are beyond your control. But it’s important to be aware of what’s causing distress and find ways to alleviate the pressure.

• Recognise and accept that stress is becoming a problem — make a connection between the emotional, behavioural and physical signs, so you can find strategies to manage stress.
• Reach out for support — talking to professional clinicians through your EAP is always a good idea. Their expertise and guidance can be a valuable support.
• Look after yourself — whatever this may look like for you; you need to make sure you’re looking after your body and mind. Plus, children who see adults looking after their own wellbeing are more likely to understand the importance of self-care.
• Prioritise commitments — you don’t have to say yes to everything, sometimes, reassessing your schedule will give you more time to recharge.
• Connect with friends and loved-ones — spending quality time with people important to you can be helpful in reducing stress.[5]
• Ask, ‘how’ you are coping — are my coping mechanisms healthy, or unhealthy? Could my reactions be improved? Children model parent’s behaviour, what are they learning about stress?
• Talk about it — within the family, ask how everyone is feeling, what can you change? Regular, honest conversations help with understanding and lead to better decision making and problem solving. [6]

[1] Family Relationships and Well-Being – PMC
[2] Some evidence for health‐related marriage selection – Lipowicz – 2014 – American Journal of Human Biology – Wiley Online Library
[3] Marital Quality, Gender, and Markers of Inflammation in the MIDUS Cohort – Donoho – 2013 – Journal of Marriage and Family – Wiley Online Library
[4] Parenthood, Childlessness, and Well‐Being: A Life Course Perspective – Umberson – 2010 – Journal of Marriage and Family – Wiley Online Library
[5] Coping with family stress
[6] Managing stress for a healthy family
[7] Five Surprising Health Benefits to Socializing with Others

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